I'm kind of sad about starting school.
Because two very, very, VERY important people won't be there. Ellie B and Taylor (he's a guy) aren't going to be in class this year. You might "know" Ellie. She's a follower and one of my best friends. She's been going to my school since 7th grade. We've started school together every year since middle school. She's awesome. She's part of the class.
And she won't be there this year.
Taylor goes back wayyy farther. We've known each other since we were five (wow, a whole decade), and done school together since we were like seven. We've both been going to THIS school since fifth grade, and every year as long as I can really remember, he's been in my class. We aren't amazing friends or anything, we don't even talk to each other that much. But we're exactly alike. EXACTLY ALIKE. I honestly can't imagine school without him there, asking the question I was opening my mouth to ask, finishing my sentence, giving me the word I was looking for when I'm talking, making the same stupid mistakes as me in math, helping me remember what I was going to say even though I hadn't said it, glancing at each other when someone says something stupid.
I don't mean to get all...memory-lane on you guys, but...all the sudden, it feels really wrong to be starting school without him. It'll be like half the class is gone, not to mention half my brain. We don't like each other all that much, we never talk, don't each lunch together, don't even see each other outside of class, but I'm really gonna miss him. Way more than I ever imagined. In some ways, more than Ellie. I'll still call Ellie and talk to her like every day, and we'll get together sometimes, but Taylor...I might never really see him again.
I don't know what to do about that. It's not like I want to hang out with him, it's just that I feel like I shouldn't be starting school without him. He's always been there, and I kind of figured he always would be.Gosh, I hate this. I hate it when people leave that you never even knew you cared anything about. You know how whenever I get an email or Facebook fill-out and the question is "What are you most afraid of?" I always put "losing people"? Well, this is why.
I HATE this. Why can't everyone just stay where they are forever? What is so great about changing, growing up, being a LOSER and LEAVING? What is the deal?
I guess I'm done posting. Sorry for ranting.
If anyone has an thoughts or suggestions or anything about this, I'd love to hear them.