Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Howdy :)

Hey everyone!
I'd just like to say that I think this idea of posting about our problems and stuff as a group is a really great idea. So, to kick off my posting career on this blog I think its fitting to start with a little "About me" section. Well, here it goes:

My name is Steven (if you hadn't guessed already), I'm 17 years old (24/03/92) and I live in North-East England in a city called Sunderland. If you aren't sure where that is then its only about 60-70 miles outside of Scotland. I don't speak with a Scottish accent though, my accent would be classed as "Mackem" (us British do have some weird words for things). I have a younger brother, Andrew who is 14 years old and at the moment tries to find any excuse he can to annoy and contradict me. I also have an older sister, Dawn who is 34 years old and the result of my dad's previous marriage. She has two children herself, Stephen and Melody although we haven't spoken in 4 years. To be honest (and this might sound harsh), I don't really class Dawn as being part of my family. She might share half her genes with mine, but considering I only discovered she existed in 2003 and fell out of contact in 2005 she knows nothing about me and clearly isn't bothered about trying to find out either.

I finished Secondary School (or High School) last year and I'm currently an A2 student at St. Peter's Sixth Form College. Its quite a small college but I've met some great people there, including Jade and Emma :). At college I study Computing, Literature, History and Media. I suppose you could say its quite an unusual combination of subjects but at the end of the day I'm doing what I enjoy best. I'm more of a academic person than vocational or physical person. When it comes to what I want to be when I grow up I've changed my mind quite a few times. I left Primary School at the age of 11 with the firm ambition of becoming a Lawyer, working my way up to a Barrister and Judge eventually. I had always been intrigued by the law dramas and other programs on TV (for example Judge John Deed (thats an English one) and Judge Judy). However I wanted to do more in law than just standing in a room all day trying to argue a case that knowing my luck I would probably lose. From an early age I've always been completely fascinated by science, and how it can provide answers to things where the stories of my upbringing and faith have not. Because of this, my ambition changed from wanting to be a lawyer to wanting to become a Forensic Scientist. It was still my sole ambition till August 2008 when I received my GCSE Examination results. Whilst I did get good results compared to the vast majority of the people in my year, my Math grade was not good enough for me to take science at college. As a result I had to use my fallback plan of computing and media, both fields I also excel at. Now my dreams of science and law have been replaced with Video Game and Film production.

My hobbies include reading, playing video games, swimming, cycling and going for long walks

My favourite films include: Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Twilight, Pirates of the Caribbean, Iron Man, Batman, Superman, Transformers, Knowing, Indiana Jones, James Bond and Slumdog Millionaire (just to name a few). My favourite books include: The Twilight Saga, Harry Potter, The Great Gatsby, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, and anything related to Star Wars or Star Trek (I don't read as much as I would like to). When it comes to music I pretty much like anything that isn't rave, rap or dance music.

Sadly, throughout my entire life I've been bullied. Whether its because of my weight, height or even the way I speak, they seemed to make it their highest priority to make sure that every second of my existence was as painful as possible. Thankfully now that I'm in college, everyone is much more accepting of me than they were at school. I never get bullied anymore, I have about 10-15 really good friends and I'm doing brilliant in my subjects I have chosen. So all in all you would think that I'm the happiest I've been in my entire life? Well no, you're wrong. Over the past couple of months I've been extremely depressed and so far this year I've tried to kill myself a total of 4 times and I've now cut myself 6 times.

I'll admit, I'm still not 100% back to normal. Every couple of days I relapse back into my old depressed state but thankfully they are fewer and farther in between. It was only yesterday that I tried to cut myself yet again. But with the help of my closest friends and the brilliant people who have been following my blog, each and every day becomes a little bit easier to live. I now have the determination to survive once again and all because I learnt that communication was key. With this blog and kind people who will be posting on it we can post all of our problems in one place and work together to help each other with them. Thanks to Tandice for coming up with this excellent idea.

You can follow my own blog here where so far I've been posting my problems and where two fantastic people, Tandice and Kendra, have been helping me with their kind words of support.

Till next time,
Steven xx

1 comment:

  1. I'm more of an achedemic person, too, although I like to play some sports.

    I've always had an extremely low tolerance for bullies. They make me so mad, and luckily for me, if I get mad enough I'm able to strike sufficient fear into people. *laughs at self* Seriously, though, that's awful that you've been bullied. Whatever you're going through at home or at school, though, you can count on me (and Tandice) to stick by you as a true friend.

    I'm glad things are lightening up a bit for you! I pray they stay that way.