I think I might be getting confused about Jade again. It seems although I do love her as a sister, I still yearn to have a relationship with her. I wonder sometimes whether I've just invented most of the sister thing to try and ease the pain of it all. But still she can never know that I still love her the way I do. As far as she is concerned I only love her as a sister now. If she found out anything else it would make things awkward again. And to be honest, I would rather sacrifice myself and succumb to the pain of loving her in silence instead of hurting her ever again.
Is it normal to feel that way? Is it possible that I might not actually get over her? I can't bare to think that i'll continue like this for another year